It’s been in interesting few days and while we’re at it - it’s been an interesting few weeks. . So much in my life has up-leveled and opened up. It has been wonderful and wild. . Something that has been popping it’s head up within the last 48 hours almost non-stop has been the opportunity to chat with other moms about connection with their children. . I certainly don’t position myself as a parenting expert but I am an expert on my kids as much as one can be. I have also taken many classes and worked 1:1 with a parenting expert who I deeply trust and admire. . These chats with other mothers this week have been heart opening, we have connected with each other, commiserated, and felt safe to speak venerably. . Today after speaking with a mother it hit me like a bolt of lightening… The reason why the universe keeps throwing this topic at me is I need a little refreshing myself. . Duh ;) . Now that we are pretty settled into -what I would consider a dream home- it’s time to settled back in with intentional deeper connection with my children too. . It’s time to up-level with them and create some more connection consistency. . So here are some of my tried and true best practices that I will be devoting myself to getting back on track again now that the move is behind us:
>Special time: literally get out a timer and set it for 3 minutes. My kids love to push the start button on the timer. For the next 3 minutes I am 100% devoted to them and whatever they dream up to do. I do NOT make any suggestions or have any ideas for what we should be doing, because it is all about leaning into whatever they want to play. This is a daily practice and we gradually work up to 15 minutes per child.
>3-5 step routines: I literally break down chunks of our day into 3-5 step of self-directed things that need to get done. For example, getting ready for bed. Step 1: jammies, Step 2: last snack, Step 3: get bed made, Step 4: brush teeth, Step 5: bedtime rituals. The beauty of this is all I have to say is “it’s time for step 1 of bedtime” and then I just have to say “move onto Step 2.” It’s a beautiful thing when they begin to anticipate the steps on their own. That way when we get to Step 5: Rituals we get to truly connect!
>Bedtime rituals: this can be the best time of the day. We have a lot of options and it is their choice for what they want that night. We typically spend about 30 minutes together on these.
>Family ritual of the day: This is typically done after dinner and is a family activity that lasts about 20 minutes or so. For example: Monday is our Big Life Journal, Tuesday is Dance Party, Wednesday is game day, Thursday is Benji’s choice (he like science experiments) and so on.
>Listening partner for mommy: This is when mommy has a 1x/week phone call for about 20 minutes. This phone call is with another mother and there are certain guidelines to this, but essentially this is where we get to vent to each other - we literally get to say ANYTHING we want knowing that we are safe in doing so. This is such a crucial part of keeping the whole house flowing and is #1 on my list to get back on track.
So there you go - some of the best practices off the top of my head that I will be working on.
Now I am SUPER curious….what are some of your SIMPLE best practices that have helped you in fostering connection with your family?