Some things keep me up at night...wake me up at night, keep me from going back to sleep at night

I struggle.

Some things keep me up at night...wake me up at night, keep me from going back to sleep at night. . I worry.

Having a traumatic near death experience, having children (hello anxiety)....just being a human being. . I reach my limits.

Having 3 children who seem to be in a constant rotation of climbing on me, having a need, screaming just to fricken tell me they are hungry😂+😤+🤯. . I get tired and burnt out.

I stay up late just to get some alone time (since my daughter likes to stay up until like 11pm or so🙃), I avoid doing work, I zone out on social media because my brain feels too fried to do anything else sometimes but I need some easy stimulation. . I cry.

I feel so much grief and pain about racism, sex trafficking...the babies being taken from their mommies when crossing onto US soil....and so much more. . I feel left out.

I am super sensitive when I don't get an invite. I constantly worry that other women don't like me. I feel devastated if a woman I know feels like I have left her out. . All of these and SO MUCH MORE. I experience all the things. I have all the feelings. . As I said my near death experience in 2005 gave me things to worry about, but it also was a huge awakening. It gave me the feeling that I am on borrowed time now (because the tumor that was removed from my spine could come back) but it also taught me that each day is a gift✨😍✨✨. . So yeah, it is my instinct to live my life from a place of positivity, a place of gratitude, a place of beauty abundance but that doesn't mean I am all sunshine and rainbows.

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And this is not a post calling for help, it is a post about transparency and loving myself though it all.

xoxo, Crystal